My mind was puzzling something for the past few days, surprisingly, me myself also have no ideas what was it. My mind was liked a bundle of messy wires going nowhere. I thought I suppose to be grateful and excited with my new purchase of DSLR, but then, it turned out to be opposite. It is not that I regret with my DSLR, but then, why wouldn't I be overwhelmed when I actually achieved one of my aims?
I have no appetite for meals, I can't sleep well at night, often I was waken up by nightmares. Am I showing signs of depression? Am I too stressful? I feel emptiness in my heart, honestly, I have longed a trustworthy and reliable person to talk to, to share my feeling, my joys and my hardships in life. Dear Journals, where is this person now? Only GOD has the answer.
This world is becoming more hypocrite, with many people live behind their own masks in the shadows of others. Sometimes, I feel that the time that GOD gives me everyday is not well-spent by me, even though I try my best to make full use of the 24hours a day. I always have a target for myself; I hope to learn at least one new thing everyday before I close my day at night, so that everyday will be a worth every second of it. This morning, I went to college as usual, hoping to gain new knowledge, but to my dismay, I spent the whole morning sitting down, doing nothing. A group of us were supposed to do practical on our Fokker 27 aircraft, but the instructor was nowhere to be seen. Sigh ... Wasted another day in college!! This really frustrates me -.-"
You may think I am a little bit stubborn, but ever since I was young, I have high-expectation in my life. Sometime I may lost, just like a boat sailing aimlessly in the ferocious sea. If only I had someone who is there to be my compass, I would be more than happier and thankful. I recalled. I had this feeling too when I decided to quit my STPM and then took up this course in September 2006. I was very afraid, afraid that I may make the wrong decision. Who wouldn't? It was only another 2 months to STPM's final that I decided to pursue my dream in Aircraft Maintenance Engineering when I was offered this course by M A S. On the other hand, it is always my dream to study Aircraft Maintenance Engineering and now I have a chance to do so. of course I will stretch extra miles to go for it. At that time, I was seriously depressed, being alone in the new environment with strangers around me, I struggled helplessly. I wish someone would come around to support me twenty four seven. The only companion I had that time was only a little blue colored Bible that I hold in my bag, and I knew GOD is looking over me up above! Amen!!
I have no appetite for meals, I can't sleep well at night, often I was waken up by nightmares. Am I showing signs of depression? Am I too stressful? I feel emptiness in my heart, honestly, I have longed a trustworthy and reliable person to talk to, to share my feeling, my joys and my hardships in life. Dear Journals, where is this person now? Only GOD has the answer.
This world is becoming more hypocrite, with many people live behind their own masks in the shadows of others. Sometimes, I feel that the time that GOD gives me everyday is not well-spent by me, even though I try my best to make full use of the 24hours a day. I always have a target for myself; I hope to learn at least one new thing everyday before I close my day at night, so that everyday will be a worth every second of it. This morning, I went to college as usual, hoping to gain new knowledge, but to my dismay, I spent the whole morning sitting down, doing nothing. A group of us were supposed to do practical on our Fokker 27 aircraft, but the instructor was nowhere to be seen. Sigh ... Wasted another day in college!! This really frustrates me -.-"
You may think I am a little bit stubborn, but ever since I was young, I have high-expectation in my life. Sometime I may lost, just like a boat sailing aimlessly in the ferocious sea. If only I had someone who is there to be my compass, I would be more than happier and thankful. I recalled. I had this feeling too when I decided to quit my STPM and then took up this course in September 2006. I was very afraid, afraid that I may make the wrong decision. Who wouldn't? It was only another 2 months to STPM's final that I decided to pursue my dream in Aircraft Maintenance Engineering when I was offered this course by M A S. On the other hand, it is always my dream to study Aircraft Maintenance Engineering and now I have a chance to do so. of course I will stretch extra miles to go for it. At that time, I was seriously depressed, being alone in the new environment with strangers around me, I struggled helplessly. I wish someone would come around to support me twenty four seven. The only companion I had that time was only a little blue colored Bible that I hold in my bag, and I knew GOD is looking over me up above! Amen!!
<Keith is being emotional today>
I will be 21 years old soon, but I still have cloudiness above my head. What is the purpose of life? Success? Power? Or Wealth? If only Miss Chong is here now, I think she will give me handful of advices. Miss Chong is my high school teacher who I respect very much. She has groomed me up to who I am today. Parts of my achievements today belongs to her as well.
KeithK is still puzzling ...
Sigh!!
Where is my guarding angels?
Can anyone gives me a hand?
Till then,
KeithK
Sigh!!
Where is my guarding angels?
Can anyone gives me a hand?
Till then,
KeithK
5 comments:
Keith,
From the way I see it, you are grateful and excited with your new DSLR. Why were you not overwhelmed?? Like every student, your main aim (as in listed #1 on your list) is to become a full-fledged aircraft maintenance engineer. Bet you that you will be overwhelmed when you become one. Truthfully speaking, getting the DSLR was more to a want so it was ranked lower in your aims.
Getting into MAS programme is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity since not everyone can get into your course- especially MAS's one. Bet you that there were rejected applicants too as places are limited. So congrats for getting accepted into it. I think it was a good decision made to skip STPM and pursue your dreams. Come to think of it, you only skipped the STPM exam, you didn't skip the lessons and syllabus cos by then, it was already mock exam so syllabus should be completed. If compared to SPM graduates, you have the competitive advantage as what you learned in Physics and Math are far more advance than SPM level. I don't know bout you but I found what I learn in Form 6 physics is more applicable in our everyday lives as we have a deeper understanding on how things work.
Okay, better stop here...
But here's one quote that I use to keep myself going: remember that in life, nothing is perfect and that makes life amazing. If everything is under control and predictable, it loses the charm of life!!!
Regardless, God has sustained you throughout your 20+1 years and I know in faith, that He will sustain all who believes in him (and this includes you) for many more to come. The beauty of God is that He will always bring us back to the light amidst it all. Praise God. You will never walk alone...
Good luck and all the best. I do have that inferior feeling in me too. Don't worry.
lol keith cheer up.
If i recall i remember that God will never give u a challenge you can never complete.
Everything that He gave to you is meant for something.
Take your camera for example.
Who knows one day you are snapping photos u find a beautiful girl??
Then when ur married you will look back thank God for the camera.
About your time in METC, just remember that you are probably 1 in dunno how many thousands of applicants that got it. And some people are paying to enter this course. Not to mention ours is semi sponsored by both MAS and FELDA. We're all in this together. And together we can work hard and cross the finish line together.
r u regretting with ur A200? Should've gone for A300 or full-frame?
KJ: "Like every student, your main aim (as in listed #1 on your list) is to become a full-fledged aircraft maintenance engineer. Bet you that you will be overwhelmed when you become one. Truthfully speaking, getting the DSLR was more to a want so it was ranked lower in your aims." I agree 101% with you on this statement. Being a successful LAE is always my priority. Yeah, thanks KJ. You have been an amazing friend. It was my loss that I didn't know you better during high school, but now, yup, KJ, you are my BUDDY!! A true friend who I can share with. I thought you would be another version of Miss Chong if you ever take up counseling. Lolz :0 Thanks KJ for your endless supports!
Daniel: Thanks Daniel for your supports. Yup, definitely we're all in this together. And together we can work hard and cross the finish line together. (except you are A&C and I am an E&I), nevertheless doesn't matter. By the end of the day, hopefully, we are going to establish together as LAEs. Thanks for your encouragements, at least I know I have friend like you who supports me.cHeErS :)
j-kimL: It has nothing to do with Alpha 200. It was something more about future and life. I wish I can be someone who happy-go-lucky and la-la guy like most of you all, but then, I can't. There are lots of thing you need to consider and worry in life, particularly your career and future. Do you think we all can simply be a LAE after completing your 5 years course like that? Things like that you know ... Anyway, it was my bad, maybe I think too much and get driven away. Haha :)
hey, don't worry too much about it. everyone's entitled to feel down once in a while. Just don't forget to pick yourself up and look on the brighter side of life. You only live once, so make the best out of it! ;)
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